On aging

Yesterday I went to the grocery store during the afternoon and there were a number of elderly people there. I found what I needed and waited in the checkout lane. I idly glanced at the woman in front of me. She was in her early 80's, nicely dressed and moved very slowly. The cashier rang up her groceries, and without paying she walked away. Huh? She came back about a minute later with a New York Times which the cashier then added to her bill. The woman looked at me nervously and I smiled at her. She smiled back. She picked up her grocery bag and turned around.

"I'm very sorry I kept you waiting," she said sounding embarassed.

"Ma'am, don't worry about it. You didn't keep me waiting, I'm not in a hurry at all."

She smiled at me again and I smiled back as she left the store.

I belatedly realized the woman had been expecting me to say something rude to her. It had obviously happened before. She probably dealt with people on a daily basis who were in a hurry, and didn't have the patience to deal with the slower pace of an elderly person.

The cashier had been listening intently. We exchanged eye contact in mutual recognition of what had just happened.

"I hate it when people are nasty to old people. Do folks who behave that way think that it's not going to happen to them some day?"

The cashier nodded. "I know and I see it every day. It's terrible."

"Indeed."

Suddenly I remembered another incident. I was driving in LA with my friend "Karen". We were tooling around in her BMW and came to a very busy crosswalk. She was trying to make a left turn at a crowded intersection with a short traffic light. Several elderly people were crossing the street. One in particular was walking very slowly with great difficulty. My friend was impatient, yelling at her, (with the car windows closed.)

"MOVE! Come on already." Karen bitched.

"What is her freaking problem? She shouldn't be crossing this street right now. Look how busy it is. Damn it!" She screamed while she simultaneously honked the horn.

At that point I was PISSED. I was watching this frail old woman trying to navigate the street and she was aware that people were upset at her. But she had no control over the situation, she was walking as fast as she could.

I turned to my friend and spoke through gritted teeth. "Karen, someday you are going to get old too. You might want to remember that."

Karen shut up and we finally made the left turn.

Memo to all these people in such a hurry. Guess what? Next time it might be YOUR mother or grandmother someone else is treating badly.