Personal ads, Take 2

I really needed to laugh so without further ado...

More personal ads from my favorite dating site!

Once again, what they say and what they SHOULD say.

48 year old man, seeking a woman who doesn't play games, (that way I can play mine with no interference.) I am independent, (I won't call for weekend dates til Thursday evening,) honest, (tactless as all hell,) and am looking for a woman who can take off on a fun trip at a moment's notice, (I'm usually running to escape furious ex's and or a subpoena.) I am a reformed bad boy, (bad behavior temporarily on hold after doctor discovered a cold sore on nether region.) Please be sensual and open minded, (I just got out of the sex addict's clinic a few weeks ago but they swear I'm cured.) I want someone I can take home to Mom, (who has final say if you pass or not and will arbitrarily kick your ass to the curb.) I want a marriage like my grandparents who were happily married for 50 years, (they were forced into into it and made themselves and everyone around them miserable.)

OK, let's hear a few of YOUR favorites!!! And please don't be shy, I know you all have some... And Guys, that means YOU too :-)