Reflections on Father's Day

I've been kind of down the last couple of days and have not really been sure why. Granted I've going through some tough things lately but they are not exactly new. Anyhoo, I have been thinking about it and suddenly a light bulb went off in my head. FATHER'S DAY. One of my least favorite holidays since my Dad died. I can't believe after 20 years that I can still feel so sad! I adored my Dad and was such a "Daddy's Girl." I look a lot like him. If we went to an event and were standing apart, (each on the opposite side of the room,) strangers would ask him if I was his daughter, "because she looks just like you." Dad LOVED that. We were also similar in temperament i.e. stubborn and we fought a lot. Dad had been such a player when he was in college and as a result never trusted ANY guy I dated. He would meet them at the door with this look on his face the equivalent of "Touch my daughter and I will surgically remove your cojones with a dull kitchen knife." Needless to say, I begged him not to answer the door. Didn't work :-) He had such a joy for life! Everyone loved him. He was one of those guys that women adored and men liked to hang out with.

I'm happy for my friends who are having a lovely time with their family. I would never begrudge anyone for enjoying this special day with their father. I would love nothing better than to do the same! I envy them while I wonder about the "what if's." If a genie magically appeared and gave me one wish I would want one more day with my Dad. To talk, to laugh, to ask his advice, to share what my life has been and what's it become. I would also want answers to the questions I have been wondering about all these years! Finally I would want to tell him how much I love and miss him and give him the biggest hug EVER.

Where is that genie when you need him...